The 20 ultimate tracks about pubic hair

This column also exist in a different version on danish: “De Tyve Bedste Sange Om Kønshår”

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You can shave off ya pussy
You can whack yo shit smooth
But if you do bitch, then my dick a never move

                                                                                      – UGK “Harry Asshole”

A few months ago, female artist and comedian Candace Roberts released the music video Bring Back The Beaver (click here to view it). The video is a tribute to the beaver which is a well-known slang for a full out grown amount of pubic hair on the female body.  The song was made according to Candice own words made to, “own my pubes in an era of hairlessness.”

This got me thinking  that we need a 2016 up-dated pubic hair playlist – A collection of tracks that in one way or the other, refers to luxury fur on the human body also known as pubes.

In that occasian, I hereby bring you my private pubic playlist for 2016 – enjoy!

20.  Primus – Winona’s Big Brown Beaver

Two questions came up once this track went viral. 1) Was this song about Wynona Ryder? 2) Was this song about pubic hair? While the band has denied that the song was about Wynona Ryder, the latter remains a mystery.

My judgement: Primus has purposely written the song in a way that made it possible to be interpreted in several ways.

19. Eminem & Obie Trice – Drips

She foaming at the lips, the ones between them hips
pubic hairs looking like some sour cream dip

Since the tracks is somewhat misogyn, it might not be the most obvious track to select for a celebration of the female body. The remark about pubic hair looking like everyone’s favorite snack-dipping when the women get’s aroused does however sound somewhat flattering.

My judgement: Eminem & Obie Tric does not mind pubic hairs on a female body during sexual intercourse.

18. Peaches – Set It Off

If the small amount of pubic hair on the front cover of Amorica was enough to get the cover censored, I can’t imagine how enormous the reactions must have been back when Peaches released the music video for this single. It even got her fired from her newly signed contract with Sony. To express desire and sexuality is a pretty basic for the artist Peaches however it does not go off without challenging the hysterical beauty standards and stereotypical gender norms. After all, Peaches is a feminist.

My judgement: Body hair activism is certainly not an act that goes without a risk and trouble Peaches got with Sony, is an obvious proof of that.

17. Mark Nikolai – Bushes (Norman “Fatboy Slim” Cook Remix)

I clearly remeber the time when this music video appeared on Alternative Nation on MTV. Back then I was a kid and had no idea what bush or brazilian wax meant (in my head female pubic hair were simple known as a triangle). But at the end of this music video, there was no doubt in my mind as to what I’d just witnessed.

My judgement: To remove pubic hair using wax methods is a thing that do exist. Which wasn’t all that well-known back then!

16. My Bloody Valentine – Soft As Snow

You hardly find a more affectionate tribute to the female genital than this wonder of a track. “Carried on a wave/ Where it can lead you/ Touch your ead, then your hair/ Softer, softer everywhere/ Finger tips are burning/ I can touch you there”. Breathtaking!

My judgement: As a true artist and a true admirer of the female body, Kevin Shields loves everyting about the the vagina, including all of the pubic hairs.

15. Dead Kennedy’s . Stars And Stripes of Corruption

Like a great eternal Klansman/
With his twi flashing red eyes/ Turn around and he’s watching/
The Washington Monument pricks the sky/
With flags like pubic hair ringed ‘round the bottom

Now it’s not beacuse punk group Dead Kennedy’s directly adresses the female pubic hairs but under the phallic-methaphorical descriptions that manage to pull a quite beautiful analogy of how the flags oat the bottom of the Washington Monument curl and twist in a pubic hair fashion.

My judgement: Dead Kennedy’s knows of the magical grace pubic hairs posseses.

14. Lady Gaga – Poker Face

I will not tell you that I love you/ Kiss You or hug you/ Cause I’m bluffin’ with my muffin/ I’m not lying, I’m just stunnin’ with my love glue-gunning”

The line has been viewed upon as a statement about Lady Gaga keeping it hairless downstairs. But this was before Lady Gaga began ordering mannequin doll with pink pubic hairs required on them. And before she posed naked on the front cover of the transversal lifestyle magazine Candy, flashing a pretty eye-catching black bush.

My judgement: Lady Gaga does exactly as she pleases with her hair at the bottom. And she is happy to go from one end at the hair spectre to the other and not scared to show us the world her muffin.

13 Big Punisher – Still Not a Player

I could go downstairs/ Little brown hairs everywhere/ ‘You nasty Twin!, I don’t care

Big Punisher doesn’t directly reveals any pubic hair preferences, Big Punisher just think’s that women are nasty if they have big brown pubic hairs down there, and Big Punisher likes nasty!

12. Candice Roberts – Take Back Your Beaver

The comedian Candice Roberts brand new and funny tribute to the bush is indispensable for any pubic hair playlist.

Message: It’s hard for a woman to rock a 70’s bush in a world that has become hairless.

11. Mr. Mother’fucking’Exquire – Good Pussy In Chicago

So we got some Piff two smoke/ And we got some liqour, yo/ Gift it like it’s Christmas and my/ Pubic hair is a mistletoe

While his view on female pubic hair is unknown Mr. Mother Fucking Exquire certainly is pleased with his own male version.

10. The Wild Knight – Beaver Patrol

My favorite way of getting kicks/ I go down town, I hustle chicks/ Beaver Patrol! (Beaver Patrol!)/ One good thing that’s on my side/ It’s a big bad car, it’s out of sight/ Beaver Patrol!

Of coure is a question of interpretation so while we can’t be shure that beaver means what we think it means, we most certainly believe it does. And that going on beaver patrol is having sexual intercourese with a woman who has a full bush. After all this track was made in the 60s back when more or less any woman was expected to rock a full bush.

09. The Black Crowes – Amorica

All right so the music might not be about pubic hair, but take one look at the front cover of the Amorica album and see how cracefully those pubic hairs peeps out of the panties. The cover is a duplication of an old Hustler magazine cover and was of course too much for the puritan americans who exposed it to censorship.

My judgement: The american authorities basically despise the female body.

08. T.I. – No Mediocre

I never fuck a bitch if she don’t do her hair/ No More, you won’t get no dick if there’s a bush down there/ Girl I should see nothing but pussy down there

T.I. is not down with the bush. He think’s that is only mediocre bitches who has any hair in that region and T.I. doesn’t like mediocre bitches.

07. Gravy Train!!!

I’m really really going through it/ So when are we gonna do it/ I grew out all my pubes trying to look like a dude/ In hopes that you’d someday screw it

Message: Gravy Train believes that pubic hair is a masculine thing

06. 7 Live Crew

She laid on the table, then opened her thighs/ No hairs on the pussy, which made my dick rise

While 7 Live Crew don’t state their opinion on pubic hair, they instead inform us that they get easily turned on by bald pussy.

05. Dillinger Escape Plan – We Are The Storm

While this song doesn’t have anything to do with pubic hair, the Dillinger Escape Plan are included on the list because of this 11 year old interview where guitar player Ben Weinmen made it pretty clear that he’s fond of a really hairy pussy.

04. Peaches – Rub

As the only artist on the list, Peaches appears twice, which is because of her admirable fight against the doll fashion industry and the never boring and always incredible aesthetics in her music videoes. I mean seriously look at the video and see it for yourself and tell me if that isn’t the work of a bad azz rebel. And if you’ve ever seen such an impressive bush in a music video, as the one that the drummer so gracefully rocks.

03. Gucci Mane feat. Lil’ Wayne & Chris Brown – Cyeah Cyeah Cyeah Cyeah

Yeah, all pussy ain’t good pussy/ And I don’t like bald pussy/ I like wolf pussy

Lil’ Wayne isn’t into a pussy that is shaven, he’d rather have a big and full bush, a wolf pussy as he calls it.

02. UGK – Harry Asshole

You can shave off ya pussy
You can whack yo shit smooth
But if you do bitch, then my dick a never move

The deceased rap legend Pimp C was a real man of the bush. Not only did he like hairy pussy, he also likes a hairy female asshole. It remind me of how my former girlfriend always use to ask me “I know you find a hairy bush attractive, but a hairy butt too, really?” when we discussed my private preferences for female body hair.  Well yeah really. The hair on a female butt is usually very discreet and mild so it seems kind of needless to even consider moving it. It feels soft and gentle to touch and is kind of cute, too. So yeah really!

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How a “hairy asshole” looks like in real life. All females do have hair on the butt but not all females have it to a degree where it’s visible.

 

01. Amanda Palmer feat. The Young Punx – Map Of Tasmania

Soft and sweet and shaped like a triangle
Some girls want no shape and the shave it all
That’s so whacky, hurts with the stubble
Walking round, look like an eight year old

I say grow that shit like a jungle
Give ‘em something strong to hold onto
Let it fly in the open wind

With this song Amanda Palmer has to be the number one pubic hair activist in the world. Her track is certainly the most poetic and convincing ode to the bush, that I’ve ever heard, and if Amanda Palmers praises to pubic hair, isn’t enough to convince you about her status as the greatest musical pubic hair activist, perhaps this amazingly beautiful picture is:

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She shure does rock a gracefully massive bush and the question that comes to my mind is, when is Amanda Palmer going to make a duet with Peaches? It would be so huge, I can feel a legendary feminist anthem on the way, just by picturing the outcome of that.

Anyways I hope you’ve enjoy’d the list, the bush references and the beautiful images, if you have any comment’s to it, be shure to leave it in the box down below.

Did you enjoy the column? Make sure to check my other columns:

Hvad du bør vide inden du farver dine kønshår

De tyve bedste sange om menstruation

Farvede kønshår -Sådan ser de ud!

Historiske billeder af erotisk kunst og pornografi

Reklamer

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